I Came Out

So everyone now knows that I'm a transgender. I dunno about sexuality, but I seem to like guys more often than girls. But I still don't want to screw them. Huh.
There is only one answer.

BROMANCE.
FOREVER.

If I am biologically a girl but mentally somewhere in-between but more guy than girl (I'd say 70 percent male, 30 percent female, 2 percent extra alien shark-whale because I'm AWESOME) and after I have chest surgery and hormone therapy and appear to be a short guy with no nut-sack, would I be considered gay? I think this is the only way one can "change" sexual orientation.

Ugh I need to shower. Will ponder life-changing questions later.

Also. One last thing. Shall I rename myself Sam and just cut out my middle name? Or Samuel? Sam Joseph? Sammy Samsonite Gay-Pants Undick? Sir Madamface?

my brain varies

The last post was much funnier after I had been reading other people's swears for hours.
I have slept pretty much all day and things have been boring. I shall have to cull the cut flowers soon, many are getting droopy. Wrinkled. My bacon... it is too crispy.

Firefox doesn't like this website. The blinking bar indicating my place is not moving the way it should. Anyway. I think my cello phase is waning already. Next phase? Who knows. I would like to have something constant under my feet. I will be twenty four tomorrow. I am so old. Ha ha ha. Friday I will go back home because I miss the animals and Mom and having my own room.
Will I ever find something I will never tire of.

Swearing is Fun

Creative swearing/insulting expletives are my new hobby! Check check it.

Querulous brumby-sucker!
You cum-stained sonofawhore!
Kiss my fart-rippling asscheeks, you shit-kicking bastard of a putrid salami and a cheap whore!
Finger-fucking shithouse creeper!
Dickfaced assmonger!
Slut-fucking rectum-doucher!
Camel-toed cumpuddle!
You anal-ripping intestinal parasite! (aka, as in S.K.'s "Dreamcatcher")
Pus-dripping scrotal acne!
You noosenecked sack-twister!
You dirty scab-picking bacterially infested shit-stained fuckheap!
You fucked up turd-blowing anal inversion!
Fly-blown maggot magnet!
Nostril-raping gasbag!
Lick my manure-spoon, goat-porker!
Cum-drinking ass-stabber!
Eat batshit and spray shitlava from your bagelhole, dick-satchel!
Shitballing crack rockets!
Choke on hippo chode, you flagrant asshat!
Suck my cheesy plague-rod, gerbil fucker.
Throw a scaly turtle schlong up your cunthole, fuckbag.
Lick a wrinkly jizzpurse, snotbrained shitflinging sheep sodomizer.
Scatmunching couch-humper!
Crapping shit-pastries!
Tit knocking scuzz bungler!

And that, ladies and gents, is just a sampling. Ah, I love the smell of curses in the morning. Especially if they smell like bacon.

why writing why writing why writing is so hard, but it's not

Burlington. B-town. This is my home now. The dark alleyways are filled to the brim with vermin and filth. Stinking traffic rolls and screeches through the streets lined with the derelict homes and businesses of the weak, the depraved, the malodorous. Cats shit in the crippled gardens, fouling the overgrown bushes which branch over cracking sidewalks and crumbling concrete walls. Pigeons fly overhead, crows hunker in the gnarled trees. Death and rot fill the city like a black mist, hanging in the fouled air and rising with the howling wind to choke the stars from the sky. It is here, in the darkness, where I must make my stand. It is here I must fight, and here I will surely die. Burlington.

THE END

Why Working At A Nursing Home Is Like Playing Animal Crossing

Yes, strange but true, working at one of these places is similar to the popular Game Cube videogame in a number of ways.  Everyday you come in and at least one of the residents have forgotten you and you have to tell them your name over and over again. They have odd mood swings you can't follow and little quotes they tend to repeat and their emotions are seemly unrelated to anything you do but are directed at you nonetheless. Sometimes you arrive at your town and someone has moved away and you'll never see them again, and although you might feel kinda down about it or just indifferent, nothing has changed and new residents soon come in to take their places. And if you visit a different town, the residents act in the same patterns and everyone gets everthing they own from a Tom Nook clone.

Okay, maybe they're not similar in that last part.

Eep eeeep! Eek.

Yellow dirt in my soul. Much animal crossing. Monkeys on trains. Damn rock, give me money. Apple. Too many cherries. Do you want this wallpaper? You freak me out. No! Rabbit took my bells.

boogahdeeee

Hey hey hey hey, smoke weed everyday. Samanuel.
Shamalamadingdong. Uh oh, he found Family Guy. Doobie.
I want a gold tooth.



WINK.